2008 - 2009 were eye-opening years for me. Despite the disappointments and family tragedy, I feel that I am stronger for the experience. I discovered that I have a strong network of friends and family who have helped me through the most difficult times of my life.
Exactly two months ago, we lost Yolanda. You don't realize how much of a vital part of the family that person is until there is a threat of them leaving or they are actually gone. It is always a good thing to remind yourself how important your loved ones are in your life and to personally tell them such, no matter how corny it makes you feel. Fortunately, I had that opportunity, that Saturday night before she passed. Maybe that is the reason why I am not having a difficult time dealing with it, and would say the same for my mom. As we both sat in my mom's kitchen, we both got her to smile and laugh. When the doctor officially told us, I thought her asking me to put some of my R&B songs from the 80s on a CD because she had just bought a brand new iPod.
I was emotionally numb, and sort of angry that morning after we returned home from the hospital, I promptly posted my emotions on my personal facebook page in a brief one sentence outburst that ended with "pray for us!" The outpouring of well wishers and supporters brought me to tears each time I read each response. "THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO RESPONDED!!!" I did not feel alone dealing with the pain.
The silliness of First Choice Productions… Those differences that we had in the past seem so petty…..
That same weekend, Friday, Yolanda walked into the office and said that she had been browsing all of the CactusPix websites, and that she was impressed with all of the work that I put into them. That made me feel really good about what we were doing. I am hoping that I wasn't short with her in my response and showed appreciation. I hadn't heard her give me such a complement since we were business partners in First Choice Productions in L.A. back in the late 80s – early 90s. Despite her beliefs, she never lost my love and support. Yes, there was a rift between us and some friends felt that they were in the middle; it was not our intention to put you there. That rift was slowly closing and we both were beginning to open up a dialog and talk about our projects.
Recently, I told my mom about a recent life decision that I had made and she told me how very concerned Yolanda was about my life and all of the recent problems that I am having. "Rodney usually has his stuff together. I bet he'll be up and running and better very shortly and back on track with his goals." That was another emotional moment for me and now I have a newly strengthened resolve, and a continued reach for success.
2010 and Beyond…
First of all, I must apologize for RCW MediaWorks, the fact that I let the distractions of life interfere with the success of a business. But, thanks to a patient and understanding business partner, we were able to shut that business down and start over, like the proverbial Phoenix. Our current projects and clients are allowing us to produce more powerful and meaningful videos.
Right now, I am in Vegas, and I am able to reflect on life without much distraction, believe it or not (I am here during one of the busiest time of the year). I realized that I haven't written a literary short story since 2004, nearly six years ago. I am now vigorously determined not to let anything or anyone distract me from reaching my goals. I need to get out from under this cloud and continue down that road.
I relish in the conversations with friends and family and cherish all of the advice and complements. Thanks for the support and words on encouragement from all of you.
I will keep you updated on the progress of CactusPix and my other endeavors….